the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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