Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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