If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
