Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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