So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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