You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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