Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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