thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
