just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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