Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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