You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
