What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
