Me. At least after what I've been through.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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