ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize