she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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