you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
