didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize