If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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