He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
