I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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