I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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