And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
