if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
