Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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