i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
