what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
