the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize