dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
