Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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