I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
