Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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