I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
