I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i would punch a child for taco bell
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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