i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
