I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
its not stalking. its research.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
