The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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