I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
