The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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