I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
