Ambien. No doubt about it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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