remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You made out with two different species that night
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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