Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
