You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
