Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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