apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
