what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
