dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
whose parrot is this?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
