I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
