can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
