tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
