Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
