Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
