I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bring me that man meat
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
