The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
