I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
