i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
