True but thats because hes a fetus.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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