I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize