what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
