All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
