How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
