Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
