How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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