So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize