Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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