Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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