Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
