He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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