Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
