I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
