How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Pants are for mortals
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
