party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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